|Photographed by Kaoru Sato (2015)|
The night when I saw her for the first time was stunning. The full moon shone at its brightest and countless stars were twinkling endlessly.
That girl, she had her back facing me. If it wasn’t her long, black hair that being blown gracefully by the ocean wind, I would not notice that there was actually someone sitting alone on the reef. The fact that she was wearing long dress as black as the night itself did not help. I wonder what kind of person, let alone a girl, who’d spend a midnight at a beach.
I got curious and decided to approach her. As I got closer I could see her skin was pale and cold, luminous under the moonlight. She didn’t realize that I was there, the moon got her full attention. I moved slowly, trying to get a clear look at her face.
“Oh, hi there. Didn’t see you coming.” She said. For the first time she took down her gaze from the moon and looked at me.
Right then. I was stunned.
The girl was one of the most beautiful creatures I’ve ever seen. She got round, big eyes that drill right to the core of my soul, as if they were investigating me with a single sight. Her full lips were bloody red, and they shaped a smile. She looked icy cold and it gave me a chill but then I could not took my eyes off her alabaster-like figure.
“I never met such a creature before. Well, not here, I mean. Not that I don’t know what you are.” She continued, leaving my tongue tied.
She turned her sight to the moon once again, but didn’t seem reluctant upon my attendance, so I just sat there next to her.
A lenghty silence.
“What are you doing? A girl like you... alone... at this kind of place... midnight?” I finally found my voice to start a conversation. The silence started to bother me, even though it didn’t seem to bother her.
“A girl like me? What kind of girl do you think I am?” She giggled. I thought she could not laugh at all, being so cold with such a strong features.
And with that I realized that if there was someone who would perfectly fit this very scenery, starry and windy midnight at a beach, it would be her
“You know...” I tried to talk about something, “I normally would not talk to stranger. If you didn’t know me, don’t you dare talk to me.”
“But you’re the one that approached me. So I think it’s different.” She replied.
“Yeah. This meeting is unusual.”
“It certainly is.” She sighed, “I am not exactly someone who can start an entertaining chat. I like to be alone. But I like being alone together much better.”
“Maybe this meeting is meant to be something.” I said
“Or maybe nothing. But there is no such thing as coincidence.” She twirled her hair by her fingers.
We sat there for a quiet long time, accompanied the moon who was probably lonelier than both of us. She hummed to an unknown tune that somehow familiar. Her voice was soft and soothing.
“I like your voice.” I said.
She stopped humming and looked at me straight in the eye. I still could not get rid that ticklish creep on the back of my neck everytime her sight met mine.
“I’d sing a song for you some other night.”
“Does that mean we can meet again later?” I asked
“Sure thing, I’m gonna be here when the moon isn’t hiding.” She said, “Well now it’s almost dawn. We gotta continue what we have to do when the sunlight shines.
After that night, I always looked forward to meet her on the beach. She was only going to be there when it’s dark, when every other creature closed their eyes and their souls drift to the dreamland. But she would not show up if it’s cloudy and all of sky objects hide. I tried to go to the beach when the rain pouring quiet heavy, imagining her long hair sticks to her pale skin, standing strong in the middle of the cloudburst, but I found nothing and only got every inch of my body soaked. I also visited the beach when it’s new moon once, the night was warm and I thought she might be there, but no, she did not appear until Waxing Crescent did.
One night, she was sitting beside me as usual, I could not see half of her face as it hid behind the long hair, they already reached her waist. She didn’t say anything, only listening.
“I used to go places with my friends but then I decided to continue going places alone.” I told her.
“And why is that?” She asked.
“Well, being in a group is really great, but I wonder who am I exactly without their intervention. I’m afraid that they might started to define me.”
“Do you feel lonely sometimes?”
“Sometimes. Well yeah, most of the time. But it’s worth it. I can be my own leader.”
“And I can look at the moon earnestly.”
“Remember I promised to sing you something?” she said abruptly.
Of course I remember her promise. Her hum haunted me since the first time I hear it. The intimate, floating melody that makes the wave drift away from the sand they had been made love to for a while, just to appreciate her song.
“I’m gonna sing to you tonight. It’s a gift, maybe closer to gratitude.”
“What for?” I asked, perplexed.
“For coming here and sit beside me everytime I’m around. Some other creatures are too busy to do that.”
“Well, I’m the one who actually need to say thank you. You made me less lonely.”
“Vice versa. The feelings mutual.” She said. Then she started singing. An actual song, not only a hum. The words were in a foreign language and I didn’t understand the language but I can understand the song. It was like your favorite song when you were a child. You would repeat it and sing along even though you didn’t understand the words.
I’d listen to it for the rest of my life.
But she would not let me drown myself in a sad song. So I asked her to sing a happy song, but she said she didn’t know any. And she had to go like the morning had to come.
Since our encounter, I found myself fond night time quite too much. I’m dying to hear her songs. I long to tell her my stories. Being away from my packs, I feel lonely most of the times and she was my cure.
“You were meant to define yourself, am I right?” She said to me one time, when I expressed what I feel. I nodded.
“Yeah, I hope you’re understand that being friends with me is not a purpose. It is a way to reach your purpose.”
I didn’t understand, but then she continued, “I’m always gonna be here for you, but don’t you do the same thing. Come when you need me, don’t come to makes me happy.”
But sometimes I just want to come for both of us. Like tonight.
I walked my way to the beach as soon as the sun setting. The full moon, oh how it shone so brightly and beautifully. It looked closer to the earth as it appeared some size bigger. I imagined she’d look so pretty tonight.
Then I saw her, sitting alone at the reef just like the first time I met her.
“Good evening!” I said.
She gave me the wide smile that I adore so much. Her skin looked paler and her lips looked redder. It made her looked more beautiful and creepier simultaneously.
“Hello.” She said, “Look at the moon. Isn’t it... something?”
“Let’s spend tonight just staring at it. It is a rare occasion.”
I followed her lead and just stare at the moon. Sure she was right. I always talked about myself, my stories, and my loneliness. About finding me and defining me.
I never really listen to her.
So let tonight be her night. Let me admire the elegance of the moon and the light of her eyes. The silver glow and the cold lambency. It was so close as if I could hug it and never let go.
“Can I hug you?” I asked, out of a sudden.
She looked at me deeply, it almost discouraged me, but then she nodded, “Only this time. It is a rare occasion.”
And so I pulled her to my embrace. It was the first time I ever touched her. Her skin was soft as swan feathers but cold as December snow. It was delicate and strong at the same time.
I didn’t know how long we had been sitting there with her in my embrace. We only sat there, motionless, bewitched by the moon.
Or at least it was me who got wonderstruck
“It’s gonna be any minute now.” She said.
I didn’t understand what she’s saying, 'til suddenly the moon is no longer silver. There was a tinge of red stained the silvery surface. The tinge got wider and wider, as if someone stab the moon and let it bleed, let it bathe in blood.
In the color of her lips.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
My tongue got stiff. I could not respond her question.
When I thought the moon could not getting any prettier, the charm put me in some kind of spell. I look at her and found her gaze stuck upon me.
And everything turned red. The moon. The ocean waves. The sand. Me. Her.
Her pale skin was gleaming under the red light.
When I thought she could not getting any creepier, she turned hundred times colder, darker, and scared the hell out of me. At the same time, I had never seen her in such an enchanting beauty when I thought she could not get any prettier than usual.
“The moon is bathed in the color of the sky when it’s twilight. It’s basically all the loveliest things in the world at once.” She said.
In the color of her lips, the loveliest thing in the world.
Before I knew it the blood left the moon, as if someone wiped it and the silver glow came back. It was almost dawn.
She released herself from my embrace and left without saying a thing. I could only watch her back, drifting away from me slowly, 'til her figure got smaller and smaller and then completely vanished.
I can still go and see her every now and then, she’d sing and I’d tell stories as usual. But never again she lets me touch her, let alone embrace her. But like she said, I should not let myself drown in her sad songs. I am meant to let her helps me to get out of my sadness.
But she embraces me, in my darkest nights, in my loneliest times.
Original title and story "Lonely Luna" - 2014
Revised in the night of Super Blood Moon - September 28th, 2015
Revised in the night of Super Blood Moon - September 28th, 2015